A Pearson-style Game Show

Pearson (P): "Mom, what did the big daddy buffalo say down on the ranch?"
Me: "Ooo yuck, I stink?"
P: making a buzzer sound "No, the correct answer is Tigger. Let's try it again. Mom, what did the big daddy buffalo say down on the ranch?"
Me: "Tigger?"
P: "Ding, ding, ding! Right answer, Mom! Good job! Now, Daddy, what did the big daddy buffalo say down on the ranch?"
Kirby: "Tigger?"
P: making a buzzer sound "No, that is not the correct answer! That answer did not make me happy, I'm not playing anymore!"

Pearson Saves the Day

"Look, mom, I made this sign! It says, 'No bald eagles allowed in our house.' If a bald eagle comes in our house he will see this sign and fly right back out."

Fairly Odd Question

"Mom, what does the big daddy buffalo say down on the ranch?"

Taking a Walk on the Dark Side

Me: "Pearson, you have had a very hard time obeying me today. You have been arguing with me constantly, you have spit at me, kicked me, and pitched some full-on temper tantrums. I have "had it up to here". Are you acting the way Jesus would want you to act? Are you listening to Jesus? Are you obeying me like the Bible tells you to?"

Pearson (P): "NO!"

Kirby: (later on in the evening) "How was your day today, Pearson?"

P: "I've been obeying the devil."

MOM!!!!

Pearson (P): "Mom! Please don't bother me, I am trying to con-cer-tate!"
Me: "You are? You are trying to concentrate?"
P: "Yes! Con-cer-tate! Con-cer-tate means I am trying to color! Please, do not bother me!"

Questions, Questions, and MORE Questions

The following are questions that Pearson asked us on the way home from the zoo. I believe we were in the car forty minutes. He wanted to make sure he learned all he possibly could with the time he had available.

How do you build a bridge?
How do you build a road?
How do you build a car?
How do you drive a car?
How do you jump a car?
Do you tilt the steering wheel to get the car to jump?
Daddy, how do police men put bullets in their guns?
What do modo dragons (comodo dragons) eat?
Why do modo dragons eat eggs?
How do they get the eggs?
Do the people give them to the modo dragon?
How do the people give them to the modo dragon?
Do the people make sure they don't drop the eggs when they give them to the modo dragon?
What did the sign at the zoo say about the modo dragon?
Can a modo dragon hurt a person?
Why does a modo dragon hurt people?
Mommy, did you eat all the cotton candy?
Mommy, are you sure?
Mommy, why can't I see anymore cotton candy in the bag?
Mommy, can you show me that you did not eat all the cotton candy?
Why don't I have a back pack with a parachute?
If I climbed all the way to the top of the rock climbing wall at the zoo, would I have to use a parachute to get down?
How does the rope they hook me to at the rock climbing wall stop me from falling to the ground?
Do you think one day I will be able to climb to the top of the rock climbing wall?
Why didn't we see any giraffes at the zoo?
Did you ask me if I wanted to see the giraffes?
Did I tell you that I wanted to see the parakeets instead?
Why does everyone brush the animals at the petting zoo?
Do they want to make sure the animals at the petting zoo are very clean?
Why does it feel good the the animals to get brushed?
What was the modo dragon's name at the zoo?
What is the elephant's name at the zoo?
Why do we have to go to bed when we get home?
Why are we going to church tomorrow?
What are we going to do after church?
What does this paper say?
Can I put holes in this paper?

Allergy Season

Me: "Pearson, do you want to take your Snow White DVD with you to Pensacola?"

P: "No, I don't want to take Snow White."

Me: "Why not?"
P: "There is a witch in it and I am allergic to witches."

~~~~~~~~~~

P: "Mom, I heard a coyote at school!"
Me: "You did?"
P: "Yeah, I don't like to hear coyotes. They have long noses and they can stick them in our windows."
Me: "Coyotes cannot get in our house, they will not bother you."
P: "Well, I am allergic to coyotes, they make me sneeze. When I sneeze they get scared and run away."
Me: "I guess they won't bother you then, will they?"

Safety Patrol

While playing outside Thursday, Pearson decided to wear his elbow and knee pads when he was riding his tricycle. He was constantly chattering about how he was being safe and his elbows and knees would be protected if he fell. I guess he decided just talking about safety wasn't enough for him...he decided to act out what would happen if he fell.

Nonchalantly walking, not expecting a thing...

Oh no, he has tripped...

He has fallen down...

Flat on his face.

Safety inspection passed! Amazingly enough, he kept a smile throughout the entire incident.

Go & Tell

Pearson (P): "Mom, what do I do if everyone doesn't see the cross on my church?"

Me: "I don't know. I don't understand what you are talking about."

P: "They will just know in their hearts that Jesus died on a cross for them?"

Me: "No, it is our jobs to make sure we tell everyone that Jesus died for them"

P: "Yep, Mom, that's what we have to do!"
Me: "We have to make sure everyone knows that Jesus loves them, died on a cross for them, and came back to life again to wait for them in heaven."

P: "Mom, Jesus IS waiting for me in heaven and we have to let everyone know."

Too Many Acronyms

Pearson (P): "Mom, I just saw a GPS man." (It was a UPS man.)
Me: "Yep, I saw him, too."
P: "He sells phones." (I think he means the PCS man.)

Rope Butts?

Pearson (P): "Mom, there are rope butts outside! "
Me: "What?"
P: "Rope butts!"
Me: "What are rope butts?"
P: "They come out and you have to run fast!"
Me: "Do you mean robots?"
P: "No! Rope butts!"
Me: "Okay? Kirby, what is he talking about?"
Kirby (K): "What did he say?"
Me: "He said there are rope butts outside and you have to run fast."
K: "Oh, wasps. I found a wasp nest and I thought the wasps were dormant. But, when I sprayed them they flew out and I told Pearson to run."
Me: "Pearson, did you mean to say wasp nest?"
P: "Yeah, wasp nest. Mom, I like to run from rope butts."
Me: "You mean wasps."
P: "Oh, yeah, wasps."
Me: "You like to run from wasps?"
P: "Yeah, I like to use my super-fast powers to run from them."
Me: "Really, can you show me how?"
P: "Oh, no, Mom. I can only use my super-fast powers when I am running from rope butts!"

Open 24 Hours, But Not All At Once

Pearson (P): Sticking his head out his playhouse window. "Dad, we are going to play restaurant. Come over here and order some food."
Kirby (K): "Okay"
P: "Hello, what would you like to eat?"
K: "I want a hamburger."
P: "Sorry, it's Saturday, we are closed! Come back tomorrow!" Slamming the window shut.

Funerals and Three Year Olds

My mom, Pearson, and I went to a funeral yesterday. I tried to prepare Pearson, as much as possible, about what he was going to see and hear at the funeral. He knew that I had gone to visit my Aunt Lula Lee in the hospital on Sunday and I had told him that she was very sick. I had also told him Tuesday morning that she had died and that we were going to go to her funeral. He asked me a few questions and I answered them as best I could. I felt he was as prepared as a three year old could be to go to a funeral. We arrived at the church about an hour early and I was letting Pearson play out front to let him get all his "wiggles" out. He decided he needed to go to the bathroom. This church was very small, the only way I knew to get to the bathroom was to walk from the back of the church to the front and out a side door. As we were starting to do this, I noticed they had brought the casket to the front of the church for friends to view my sweet aunt. I stopped, bent down to Pearson's eye level and told him, "They have already brought the casket in and Aunt Lula Lee is already at the front. We are going to have to walk right by her. Please do not say anything while we are in the church. If you have any questions, do not ask them until we get to the bathroom." He said he would be quiet. We started down the isle as quickly as we could, because I knew he was going to belt out an inappropriate question at any moment. Just as we reached the door to leave the room, Pearson whispered, "Mom, I have a question." I said, "Okay, wait till we get to the bathroom." When we reached the bathroom, I stooped down again and asked him what his question was. I was waiting for a very profound question, one that would require me to think back on all my biblical and parenting knowledge to create a perfect, age-appropriate answer. Pearson whispered, "Mom, do you like baby alligators and snakes?"

Just Friends

Pearson (P): "There are two Mr. Jasons?"
Kirby (K): "Yes, one is Brynnlee and Cameron's dad and one is the man mommy works out with."
P: "Okay. Who is mommy's friend?"
K: "Mr. Jason, mommy's trainer."
P: "Oh . . . I just call my friends 'my friends'."

Good Try

Pearson's teacher uses the stoplight system to communicate with the parents how their child behaved in class. Green is good, yellow is not good, and red is not good at all. Below is a good example of how Pearson is "working the system".

Me: “Pearson, why did you come home on yellow today?”
Pearson (P): “I don’t know, I just did.”

Me: “Mrs. Angela said you hit someone and threw a toy at them. Why did you do that?”
P: “I just did.”
Me: “Pearson, we cannot hurt our friends.”

P: “But Mom, yellow IS my favorite color!”

Do Not Enter

Pearson (P): "Mom, we need to make a sign for my door. It needs to say 'No Mom and Dad. Please do not come in.'"

Me: "Why do you want a sign on your door?"

P: "So you and dad cannot come in my room."
Me: "Why don't you want us to come in your room?"
P: "So when I get in trouble and you are going to spank me, I can run in there and you can't come."

`

After that conversation we had a another conversation about how "Mom and Dad" can go anywhere they want in their house.

A Simple 'No Thank You' Would Have Been Fine

Pearson (P): "Mom, what are you cooking?"

Me: "Scrambled eggs. Do you want some?"

P: "Oh, no thanks. I can't eat too many eggs . . . or . . . I . . . will . . . turn into one. I will turn into an egg and I will not be able to walk or talk. Then you will have to hatch me."

Me: "Reallly? Then what would happen?"

P: "Well, I just can't eat any." Waving his hand frantically towards the plate. "I just can't eat any, I just can't." Said as he runs from the room.

Is He 3 or 13?

Said this morning when I had to wake Pearson up for school.

Pearson (P): "Mom, I'm still sleeping. Just five more minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Said this afternoon:

P: "Mom, I'm going to write a note and put it on my bedroom door. I'm gonna tell you that you can't come in."

Just Today

The following comments were from today alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pearson (P): "Mom, do you very like me?"
Me: "I very love you."
P: "But, do you very like me?"
Me: "Yes, but I very love you more."
P: "Oh, okay."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said after drinking out of a water fountian.
"Mom, I like water. But, I like milk better. I sure wish they'd put milk in there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said after a man at church introduced himself to Pearson.
"This is my mom. She takes care of me all the day. When I fall down and get a boo-boo, she takes care of me. I very love her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Said after by Pearson after Kirby and I put him to bed.
"I'll call you if I need something."

Mr. Manners

Pearson (P): "Thanks, Mom, for driving us today."
Me: "You're welcome, Pearson."
P: "But, you had to drive us, because cars can't drive themselves."
Me: "Yep, you're right."
P: "That's so silly, Mom!"